So Punny, I Forgot To Laugh
by Immortal Supernatural Freak
Summary: It's the summer and the Pack are bored. But when Stiles comes up with an idea, will it end well, or will Derek actually rip his throat out this time? Prompt: What if the entire pack is bored one day and they decide to just use the Hale last name in as many sentences as they can? And, of course, Stiles being Stiles he doesn't know when enough is enough. Written for: lord kiras hand


**Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please, please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one.**

**Please, please review XD**

_**Written for: **_lord kiras hand

_**Hope it's ok ^_^**_

**Stiles**

We were bored.

_Nothing_ was happening.

Typical that during summer vacation, the onetime where we actually have the time to go around chasing God knows what creature, nothing shows up!

I mean, sure, it was great to have a break every now and then, I wasn't complaining about that. But why couldn't it happen during the school term! You know, when we _needed _to focus on class and not a monster trying to kill us!

Sometimes I really didn't get this town!

So, here we were, nine teenagers sitting/lying around the living room in the house we had all helped Derek rebuild the year before, trying to come up with some way to cure this horrible boredom!

Only, the suggestions people were coming up with weren't all that appealing...

"Eye spy?" Isaac suggested.

"_No."_

"Movies?" Erica sighed.

"_No."_

"You could train." Derek grumbled, walking past the living room.

"_Hell no!"_

And then, by some sort of miracle, an idea hit.

Sure, it might get my throat ripped out by the teeth of a certain Alpha wolf...but at least we – _I _– wouldn't be so damn _bored_! I mean, it was _pure _genius! Well, it was my idea, so of course it was genius. Besides, it would be _fun_!

But now I had to tell the rest of them without said Alpha hearing...

* * *

It was the next day that we put my plan into action.

We – Scott, Allison, Erica, Boyd, Danny, Isaac, Jackson, Lydia and I – were all lounging around in the living room of Derek's house, just like yesterday, waiting for Derek. Apparently he was out running... I think, secretly, he was off chasing Thumper – yes, I named the rabbits in the woods after the rabbit in Bambi, so what?

For my idea to work, we _needed _him here.

But, as always, the moment we needed the Sourwolf in the same room as us, he wasn't here.

_Damn Sourwolf._

"You know he's going to kill us, right?" Danny – ever the reasonable guy – sighed, as he wrapped an arm around Isaac.

"Don't be so dramatic." I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "That's my job."

"But he will."

"_No_, he'll _say _he's going to kill us. Well, me more than you guys. But he won't."

"How do you know?"

"My dad's the Sheriff; he knows we're all here today. If we turn up missing, the first place he'll check is here."

Yes, I know, my brain is amazing.

Well, it had to be. It came up with the awesome idea that was going to rid us of our boredom! And it's not like any of them shot the idea down! Though that could have been because it was the only thing that sounded remotely interesting...

I mean, sure, annoying Derek was always my kind of thing... But the others did join in every now and then.

The team effort was always fun.

* * *

It felt like hours before Sourwolf walked into the living room, when really it had only been a few minutes.

Everyone kind of just...grinned at each other, causing our _dear _Alpha to – rightfully so – become suspicious.

But who cares, the fun could now begin!

"Isn't there anywhere _else_ you could go?" Derek grumbled, walking directly over to his arm chair.

"_Oh, _Hale_ no!" _we all grinned.

Part one of plan: try to use the last name '_Hale_' in as many sentences as possible.

The only word we could think of to replace with '_Hale_' had been '_Hell_', so that's the one we were sticking too. So, instead of using '_Hell_', we used '_Hale_'...

The look of Derek's face right at this moment in time made everything that happened in the end worth it.

Yeah, this was going to keep us entertained for a while.

* * *

"_Oh, fucking _Hale_! My battery died!"_

"Hale_ no! You did _not _just say that!"_

"_What in the _Hale _is going on?!"_

"_Can someone explain what the _Hale _is happening."_

"_Fucking _Hale_! That spider is _huge_! Get rid of it!"_

Those were only five examples of what Derek had to endure that day.

We all made sure he was around before we even said it, since most of the entertainment came from annoying the Alpha wolf with what we were saying.

I even had the _perfect _opportunity to use it the next day – not that anyone was around to appreciate my genius!

I mean, I was sitting in my room, all peaceful like, just minding my own business as usual, when _BAM_!

Alpha in the house.

"_DEREK_?! What the _fuck_?!" I yelled. "GET THE _HALE _OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Growling, Derek grabbed my t-shirt, dragging me off of my desk chair before slamming me into the nearest wall. And, yeah, it _hurt_!

_Stupid werewolf, with a stupid sexy face!_

"_Shut. Up._ Before I rip your throat out... With my teeth." he snarled. "Do you have it or not?"

The '_it_' Derek was referring to was research.

Not for a big bad we were facing, oh no.

Just research that he wanted.

It was like I was his own personal slave!

Now, I wouldn't mind if I was his personal _sex _slave, I mean that would _so _work for me!

But this kind? Not. Fun.

Sure, research was cool and everything, but I needed a break from it sometimes!

Rolling my eyes, I wriggled my way out of Derek's hold on me, walking back over to my desk and grabbing the pile of papers.

"What do you need it for anyway?" I asked.

I didn't get an answer. I never did. He just walked back over to my window and jumped out.

"HEY! WHAT THE _HALE_?! NOT EVEN A THANK YOU?!" I shouted out of my window.

I swear to God, my whole street could hear the answering roar.

* * *

Part two of the plan – tell as many _dog _jokes as possible – started two days after Derek showed up in my room; though we kept going with part one too.

Now, this part was going to be fun. I mean, Derek didn't like when I made dog jokes anyway.

But get the rest of the Pack involved? He was going to _loath _it!

My plan was turning out to be a success! I mean: no one was complaining of death by boredom, Jackson wasn't being as douche... All in all, it was going great!

"Hey, Scotty!" I called from the front porch, while the Alpha wolf was training the Betas, outside. "What do you call a dog magician?"

"I dunno!" Scott called back, grinning.

"A labracadabrador."

Derek looked like he wanted to kill me. Which, in all fairness, was nothing new in my ever day life.

Derek always wanted to kill me.

He threatened to do so whenever I pissed him off or he had me pinned against a wall.

Derek didn't have to do any of that for me to know he wanted to kill me. He just had to look over with his glary-eyes-of-doom, just like he was doing now.

"That's a good one, Dude!" Scott laughed, the other Betas snickering themselves.

"Man, I got a whole lot more where that came from!" I beamed.

And I really, _really _did.

* * *

"_What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!"_

"_What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle."_

"_Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the 'barking' lot!"_

"_What do you call a cold dog? A Chilli Dog."_

"_What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!"_

"_What is the dog's favourite city? New Yorkie!"_

"_What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster? Cockerpoodledoo!"_

"_Hey, who let the Alpha dog out?"_

I had actually researched some dog jokes and written down my favourite ones, just so I could learn and remember them, so we could carry on with our plan of annoying Derek.

Not all of the jokes were made by me, the whole Pack joined in after a while, ignoring their usual attitude towards dog jokes, just to annoy our Alpha.

"Hey, Derek, did you wake up on the wrong side of the doggie bed?" I asked as the Alpha glared at the wall, hand tightening around the arm of his chair and turning his knuckles white.

"Shut up." was the only reply I got, complete with scary red Alpha eyes. "Before I maim you."

Though, they were less scary and, well, more of a turn on...

Hey! I was only being honest people!

"You know, you keep saying that." I grinned. "But your bark is worse than your bite. You never deliver."

"Don't test me, Stilinski." he snarled.

"If I was, then you would have failed your obedience test."

"Do you think you're funny?!"

"I think I'm hilarious, _Cujo_."

* * *

Part three of the plan – tell as many wolf puns as possible – came into action a few days later, after I ran out of dog jokes. Still continuing with part one as well.

Surprisingly, I _wasn't _the one who started this phase of the plan, but I wasn't complaining.

"What do you get if you cross a wolf with a monkey?" Isaac asked, quietly.

We were all lounging about the living room of Derek's house, a random movie no one was watching playing out.

Isaac usually stayed quiet, only saying something when someone else had started a conversation…. So the fact that he started talking first? Well, it caught the attention of everyone in the room, causing the pup to go bright red.

_"A howler monkey!" he answered when everyone was looking at him, smiling a little, looking pleased with himself._

_"Well, __Hale__, Isaac!" I grinned, chuckling slightly. "Go you!"_

_The growl coming from the direction of a certain Alpha wolf should have been my first clue._

_Instead, I ignored it, deciding to join in._

"What does a wolf say on Halloween?" I asked, smirking.

For a moment, all of them – apart from Derek – sat and thought about it, trying to come up with some sort of answer.

But all I received were shrugs.

"_Happy Hoooowloween!" I replied, howling myself just to rile the Alpha up even more._

_The sound of a second growl should have been my second clue._

_But, again, I ignored it._

"Knock, knock." I said.

"Who's there?" Isaac replied.

"A Fred."

"A Fred who?"

"_Who's a Fred of the Big Bad Wolf?!__"_

My third clue, and the one that actually got me to stop, was Derek standing up and storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

_Maybe I went just a tad too far…._

* * *

Even though I knew it would annoy Derek, I never thought it would get to the point where he stopped growling and had to leave the room….

I didn't mean for him to get seriously pissed off…. Only a little agitated.

But then, when did things ever go my way?

Sighing, I let myself fall backwards onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"God, I'm an idiot." I muttered.

"You just noticed?" a voice asked.

I did _not_ yelp and fall off of my bed! I would deny that with my last breath…. But, come on! Hearing a voice oh so suddenly in your room, no matter how used to it you are, scared the crap out of you!

But I overlooked that, focusing more on the fact that Derek was leaning against my bedroom window, arms folded, glaring directly at me as I scrambled back onto my feet.

"Look, Derek, dude, I'm sorry." I started. "It was meant to be a joke, you know, a bit of fun! We were bored and then I got an idea and everyone liked it…. I _swear_ I wasn't trying to get you in to angry-glary-let's-kill-Stiles mode. I mean, hey, we wouldn't want that. Right?"

"A joke?" Derek asked, an eyebrow raised.

Gulping, I nodded as fast as I could; not needing werewolf hearing to know my heart was beating fast.

"Yeah, you know, for a laugh? It was supposed to be funny." I told him, backing away slowly.

"It was so _pun_ny, I forgot to laugh." Derek said, sarcastically, stepping forward every time I stepped back.

But I stopped at that comment, blinking and taking a bit of time to register what he had _just said_.

_"_Did you just make a joke?! I think you just made a joke." I breathed, grinning slightly. "OH MY GOD, YOU _JUST _MADE A _JOKE_! I didn't know you could make jo..."

You know, it's hard to talk around someone's tongue.

_Someone's tongue..._

_Derek's tongue..._

HOLY _FUCK_! DEREK-FREAKING-HALE HAD HIS _TONGUE_ SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT?!

And I wasn't pulling away!

Neither of us was!

We just stood there – my arms, somehow, around his neck, his arms around my torso – mouths glued together as our tongues pushed against each other, unrelenting.

My left hand landing on the side of his neck, as my right hand slid into Derek's dark brown – black looking – hair, tangling itself in the strands and getting a grip on it, dragging him closer than should be possible.

Derek responded moving his hands to my hips, pulling me closer until there was no way anything could fit between us, backing me up until I hit the wall. Of course, the initial contact surprised me, meaning Derek pushed his tongue further into my mouth, deepening the kiss that little bit further.

And then it stopped.

"W-Was that a joke?" I asked, voice cracking slightly. "W-Was that payback?"

Derek smirked.

He _smirked_.

"_That_ was something I had wanted to do for a _long _time." he chuckled. "That stupid idea of yours? Well, it just pushed me enough to actually _do it_."

"So, it's _not _a joke?" I tried again.

"For someone who's supposed to be smart, you are completely _idiotic_. But _no_, not a joke."

"Thank God for that!"

Tugging at his hair, I got Derek to lower his head again.

Though, instead of getting his tongue in my mouth, Derek bent his head down further, lowering it to the meeting of my neck and shoulder, his lips brushing over the skin there lightly, barely even touching. So lightly that I barely felt it. But then he started to put more pressure on the spot, pressing harder after a short amount of time.

It wasn't long before the gentle swipes stopped on one spot, his mouth opening to suck on the area. It was moments like this that I was glad no one from the Pack was around, especially with the sounds I was unwillingly making. But that only seemed to drive Derek on, since human teeth were soon brought in to play...and tongue...

I could do nothing but hold on to his hair tighter, pulling him closer and lean my head back against the wall, as I ended up curving slightly into him, arching off of it.

I couldn't help the whine after the spot on my neck became too sensitive to bear. Derek, noticing this, just dragged his tongue up my neck, slowly – it really shouldn't have been as much of a turn on as it was – biting the lobe of my ear as he came to it, before gently running the tip of it over the shell.

"Just do me a favour?" Derek muttered into my ear.

"What?" I breathed.

"No more of those jokes."

"But they're so _pun_ny!"

The jokes did stop though... The sneaky bastard found ways of making me agree.

But, hey, the summer didn't turn out to be as boring as I first thought it was!

* * *

_**This was written for: **_lord kiras hand

_**Hope it's ok ^_^**_

_**Please review XD**_

_**Thanks XD**_


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